How can I help my boyfriend be less resistant to planning a vacation?
A bit about the couple:
We’re ages 30 and 32, we’ve been in a very committed relationship for almost 14 years (we met when I was 16, he 18).No kids/no pets, we both work full time Mon-Fri 9-5 jobs. He makes more money than I do, about $48k and I make about $31k.
Background for the question:
He has credit card debt (I’d say now it’s about $9,000 down from $15,000 after consolidation). Sometime some time around April/May, I helped him by looking into debt consolidation and enrolled him in a program to pay of his debt without effecting his good credit. We both live paycheck to paycheck because I make “just enough” and he has debt to take care of. However, we’re not that stretched because we manage to do something fun every weekend (bbq’s, outings with friends, camping trips etc.).I’m the “planner” in the relationship, he can plan too, but is much more last minute when it comes to those things although he was very good about our trip to Hawaii two years ago. Just FYI, we paid 80% cash for that trip. We saved up for it all year long. There were somethings we had to put on his credit card, but it sure as hell wasn’t $15,000! Just a side note to consider.
Details of the question:
So, I am trying to plan a vacation for 2010 (around April or May). It’s either to go back to Hawaii or on a cruise for 7-9 days. We have a family member in the airline business that can us on the plane to Maui for free/next to nothing. I found a bungalow for $80 a night and car rental is $30 a day. VERY CHEAP for Hana, Maui. For the cruise, it’s $1100 for both of us to the Caribbean (he’s never been on a cruise) and it’s all expenses paid for except alcohol and shopping. We can pay a deposit of $500 and pay off the cruise over the course of the year. Everytime I try to talk to him about planning a vacation for next year, he gets bugged about it, says we can’t afford, we’ll talk about it later and continues to put me off. I’m trying to plan in advance to make him feel more comfortable about the money (paying it off over time, paying in cash vs. credit, etc.) and that way we have plenty of time to make the best arrangements, scheduled time off and what not. NO RUSH. He hates to be rushed! Okay, so I’m trying to work with him. I can’t find a common ground. He’s an amazing guy (that’s why I’m still with him ;o) But I don’t how to handle this. I’ve got a bug to “see and do” and he feels like he can’t do anything. He needs to FIND A WAY.
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February 19th, 2010 at 11:47 am
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how about the both of you putting money aside each week in a little container just for the trip, for example lets say you make 1500 a week, can you put away 200 in the end it sure does add up. And you won’t feel it as much.
February 21st, 2010 at 6:38 pm
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You are earning about $80,000.00 per year. It sure sounds like you can manage a vacation every few years, if not more. You sure sound like you have a head on your shoulders and have the finances under control.
Go for it!!!! Sit him down and tell him how you have earned the vacation and show him on paper. Both your choices are wonderful…. Both will be a great time and since he has never been on a cruise why not try it. The price you have is fantastic..
Go for it !!!!!.